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Discussion Starter #1
It has now been one week since I (and my friend) installed my Dinan CAI and I thought that it would simply be wrong of me not to share my experience with you all.

So, (in no particular order)...

Lesson #1:
Attempting an install of anything eclipsing the difficulty refilling your washer resevoir in at or below 0 degree C weather (even in an enclosed garage) is foolish.

Contrary to popular belief, your body does not raise its temperature, grow an extra layer, or store more fat to compensate for your stupidity.

Lesson 2:
The inclusion of a 6" socket extension on the "Tools Needed" list is oddly enough, not a typo.

Lesson 3:
You do not need to completely disassemble your headlight washer unit, just pull on the b!tch with enough force to pull it off the spring-loaded hose. After that, take a break and admire as your washer resevoir completely empties.

Lesson 4:
When removing the headlight trim, the directions are absolutely correct - the outermost clip will elicit swear words; it is natural, proceed with the install.

Lesson 5:
If you have a coupe, unscrew the foglights before pulling them out - it's easier.

Lesson 6:
If you have less than 50,000mi on your ride and at any point you say to yourself, "Now, exactly why was it that I did not get the GruppeM?" take a deep breath, and repeat out loud three times, "We like warranties," and proceed with the install.

If you are over 50,000mi and at any point you say to yourself, "Now, exactly why was it that I did not get the GruppeM?" take a deep breath, acknowledge your stupidity, and proceed with the install.

Lesson 7:
As for installing the Air Flow Meter bracket ... it sucks.

Lesson 8:
The Dinan Water Sock is not a decorative piece to remove and show to all your friends. Leave it on the filter.

Lesson 9:
To the makers of the 7.2V Dremel ... :flipoff:
My freshly clipped fingernails do a better job cutting the brake duct that than PoS.

To all you fanatics that own a pair of CUTCO kitchen shears (don't ask), put your masculinity aside for a hot second, cut the duct and proceed with the install.

Lesson 10:
To those of you that thought that completion of your install would yield you increased gas mileage and that you could skirt by without any ECU software upgrade to correct that little air/fuel mixture thingy problem, consider yourself sorely mistaken and re-evaluate your mods budget.

Lesson 11:
To those of you that complain or have complained about the whistling/whining sound of the COLD AIR INTAKE taking in AIR (between 2-3K rpm) ...

...just stop.

Lesson 12:
To those of you that complain or have complained about the little "burp" sound of air leaving the intake when you shut off the car...

How's about you try sucking back 12 cans of soda without taking a single breath all the while running 4 laps around a 400m track and see if you don't let out a little soundage...

...just stop.

Final lesson:
Directions: Relocate the xenon ballast

Response: My a$$!!!

Modified Direction: Go to the Depot and get zip ties and quit whining about the miniscule loss of aesthetics your otherwise prestine install has enjoyed to this point. I mean, let's be honest, how much time do you really spend staring and admiring what is under your hood? If the answer to said question is any positive integer greater than zero - seek help...

...immediately.


It is my sincere hope that you all will take these lessons with you and pass them on to your future and past Dinan/Benfer CAI installers. This is knowledge not to be missed or coveted. Just doing my part to make us all happier "fanatics." :thumbup:
 

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Discussion Starter #2
"Xenon ballast relocation"

Yeah, I know... it ain't clean. Rest assured this is very out of character. (Refer to Lesson 1)

 

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BMW doesnt give you the warranty unless you buy the CAI with the stage 2 chip AND have it installed by their own people. Theyre all THIEVES!
 

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oblueDre said:

Lesson 2:
The inclusion of a 6" socket extension on the "Tools Needed" list is oddly enough, not a typo.
:lmao:
 

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Resident Biznatch Slapper
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oblueDre said:

Lesson 3:

I mean, let's be honest, how much time do you really spend staring and admiring what is under your hood? If the answer to said question is any positive integer greater than zero - seek help...

...immediately.
Tell me your kidding. Anyone who doesn't in my book doesn't count as an enthusiast or a "fanatic".

The post made me laugh though, creative :thumbup:
 

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oblueDre said:
Lesson 3:
You do not need to completely disassemble your headlight washer unit, just pull on the b!tch with enough force to pull it off the spring-loaded hose. After that, take a break and admire as your washer resevoir completely empties.
You do realize that the headlight washer unit is just held on my a c-clip right? :confused:
 

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oblueDre said:

To all you fanatics that own a pair of CUTCO kitchen shears (don't ask), put your masculinity aside for a hot second, cut the duct and proceed with the install.

[
:werd: I used the super shears during the install of my intake...actually, I think I used my pocket knife and my hardy slicer as well. I don't know, that $hit isn't only useful in the kitchen.
 

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-not a mod-
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oblueDre said:
Lesson 6:
If you have less than 50,000mi on your ride and at any point you say to yourself, "Now, exactly why was it that I did not get the GruppeM?" take a deep breath, and repeat out loud three times, "We like warranties," and proceed with the install.

If you are over 50,000mi and at any point you say to yourself, "Now, exactly why was it that I did not get the GruppeM?" take a deep breath, acknowledge your stupidity, and proceed with the install.

How would the Gruppe M void any warranties...? I have had no problems with my dealer... and if I did I would just take the 3-5 minutes it takes to replace the stock airbox. :dunno:
 

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Discussion Starter #17 (Edited)
My Dinan CAI install ... LESSONS LEARNED continued

As this is of course a work in progress, it would simply be wrong of me not to add value when I see the need for clarification. This is a living document... think of the kids.

You do realize that the headlight washer unit is just held on my a c-clip right?


Yes, I do. Hence why I was so confused as to why the directions from Dinan had all this additional drama about nozzle this and nozzle that. Just pull the thing out and call it a day.


How would the Gruppe M void any warranties...? I have had no problems with my dealer... and if I did I would just take the 3-5 minutes it takes to replace the stock airbox.


Now in a careful reread of my lessons, I don't actually recall saying anything about a GruppeM voiding one's warranty, cuz of course, it does not. We all know how the warranty game is played.

Perhaps the rule should read like this, "If you are under 50,000mi and at any point think to yourself, 'Now exactly why didn't I just get the GruppeM?' take a deep breath and say to yourself, 'oh, that's right, when the dealer tries to give me the sh!ts about my intake causing probs, my retort will be, 'oh, I'm sorry, could you tell me Mr. Dealerman what that little emblem says on that big, bad black tube... oh, it says, D-I-N-A-N does it? Hmmm, I see, so how's about you go back there in your little tool shed and fix my car so we can both get on with our lives?' "

(In truth, I will let you all in on a little secret. When I did ask myself this question ... repeatedly ... the response to myself was, "you paid half retail for it." I then took a break, went upstairs to my computer, pulled up my bank statement and smiled as I reaffirmed the additional 225+ dollars in my account.)


ballest bracket took few seconds to; screw ballest to bracket, attach bracket with two bolts on fender. How hard is that?

Hmmm, let's see... it would appear that some of us think that all xenon ballasts are created equal and thereby entitled to the same travel privileges as our other free-floating ballast friends.

... not so much.

Now (referring to the picture in post #2), do you honestly think that it is my preference to have the control unit to my headlights wedged between the intake tube and the light unit itself???? umm, no.
Mine as do several others' units literally has about 3" of slack. That baby ain't goin' anywhere.

Ask ILLCOMM about this, I think that he would have a thing or two to say about this.


I used the super shears during the install of my intake...actually, I think I used my pocket knife and my hardy slicer as well. I don't know, that $hit isn't only useful in the kitchen.

NICE!!! :thumbup: The power of Cutco is not to something at which to be scoffed (yeah, I said it). One question though, on what the hell did you use the Hardy Slicer??? :dunno: That knife is no joke. :smile:

Side note: I will be posting pics of what the hell we are talking about with this cutco business as well as a revised "Tools Required" list.
 

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Re: My Dinan CAI install ... LESSONS LEARNED continued

oblueDre said:
Hmmm, let's see... it would appear that some of us think that all xenon ballasts are created equal and thereby entitled to the same travel privileges as our other free-floating ballast friends.

... not so much.

Now (referring to the picture in post #2), do you honestly think that it is my preference to have the control unit to my headlights wedged between the intake tube and the light unit itself???? umm, no.
Mine as do several others' units literally has about 3" of slack. That baby ain't goin' anywhere.
thanks for the smart azz reply d!ck head.. :thumbdwn:
 
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