That dealer sucks.
I bought my '00 323Ci used last September. I took it to the dealer last week and they changed a bunch of the programming for me for free, while I waited.
I had them turn on key memory, 8-mph auto-lock, made the blinkers flash on lock/unlock, and made the clown nose flash when the car is off and locked.
It took them 15 minutes, they said it was more work to fill out the paperwork to charge me so they did it for free.